enemy rock

Sufjan Stevens is a pretentious fuck. I'm sure, if you've heard his music, you already knew that, but I'm just saying.
I've got a lot of problems with this guy, but this is my latest one.
It's an essay (not an editorial, an essay) he wrote on the website of his label, Asthmatic Kitty, which is also one of many sites on the Interdome devoted solely to fondling Stevens' folky, cute Christian balls non-stop.
In the essay, he lashes out about what he calls "friend rock," or, going to see your friend's band play. He says it's a problem, because even if your friend's band is good, you knew them outside the context of their music first, and so, somehow, that means you shouldn't be subjected to it (the music). What the fuck?
Maybe in magic hipster New York City land, going to see your friends' shows is like required. Because apparently, having to do it so much is getting in the way of Stevens "having coffee with you, or flying kites, a picnic in the park, cross-country skiing, something active, aerobic, conversational, therapeutic, enriching, interpersonal, paint-by-numbers, dodge ball, falafel sandwich, sunset, holding hands, human touch." What a fucking asshole.
Seriously, I'm going to break that entire quote out here:

Oh friends, friends-of-friends, friends-of-colleagues, friends-of-distant-relatives, upstanding, good looking, perfectly nice people with masters degrees who want so badly to be on stage: it’s not so much that we don’t like your band, or your songs, or your hairstyle, or your promos, or your one-sheet, or your website, or your flying-V guitar. It’s just that you were our friend first, and an aspiring musician second, and, honestly, in the end, we would rather be having coffee with you, or flying kites, a picnic in the park, cross-country skiing, something active, aerobic, conversational, therapeutic, enriching, interpersonal, paint-by-numbers, dodge ball, falafel sandwich, sunset, holding hands, human touch. Can we still be friends?

No, we can't still be friends. Eat your faggot sandwich alone.