Why would I even bother to look at Spin Magazine or its associated web site? To paraphrase a fellow poster who was talking about something else, I know I'm probably not going to see anything I like there, and it'll just make me mad.
Well, I guess look at it (Spin, not the other thing) to find things to write about on this site, which I use to tear down the hard work that other people put into their creative ventures.
Like this. Which says that Utah rockers The Almost are Spin's "band of the day."
I'm not shocked by this shitty band receiving an honor like that from Spin, a magazine which basically can't stop itself from gushing praise at mediocre nu hardcore-tinged "emo" bands of The Almost's ilk.
What did get to me was what always seems to get to me when I read these blurbs - the interactive feature at the end:
Talk: Do the Almost bring the rock all the way or just partway?
Partway? I mean, what kind of question is that anyway? And "Partway?" How much is that? Let's sleuth. It must be less than all the way. Okay, that's a given. But is it halfway, or two-thirdsway? Three-fourthsway? One-fifthway?
Dicklicking Spin writers.
So I thought they asked this because the band's singer also plays drums in the absolutely atrocious Underoath, who apparently bring the rock "all the way," which I think maybe means chugga-chugging a lot and wearing a lot of makeup and croaking about Jesus. But then I finally got the pun. I think. Maybe they asked this because the band is called "The Almost." Get it? They ALMOST rock ALL THE WAY! That's so clever!
Anyway, I listened to their songs, and their rockingness is pretty rocking, if you were to measure by tempo and guitar levels and such. But their songwriting ability
is definitely partway.
On a sidenote, there sure are a lot of comparisons flying around about the ginger-headed singer of The Almost, whose name is Aaron Gillespie, and Dave Grohl. I'm not even going to address that.
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"Close But No Donut"
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