the bordering-on nearly practically not-quite close-upon near-to

Why would I even bother to look at Spin Magazine or its associated web site? To paraphrase a fellow poster who was talking about something else, I know I'm probably not going to see anything I like there, and it'll just make me mad.
Well, I guess look at it (Spin, not the other thing) to find things to write about on this site, which I use to tear down the hard work that other people put into their creative ventures.
Like this. Which says that Utah rockers The Almost are Spin's "band of the day."
I'm not shocked by this shitty band receiving an honor like that from Spin, a magazine which basically can't stop itself from gushing praise at mediocre nu hardcore-tinged "emo" bands of The Almost's ilk.
What did get to me was what always seems to get to me when I read these blurbs - the interactive feature at the end:

Talk: Do the Almost bring the rock all the way or just partway?

Partway? I mean, what kind of question is that anyway? And "Partway?" How much is that? Let's sleuth. It must be less than all the way. Okay, that's a given. But is it halfway, or two-thirdsway? Three-fourthsway? One-fifthway?
Dicklicking Spin writers.
So I thought they asked this because the band's singer also plays drums in the absolutely atrocious Underoath, who apparently bring the rock "all the way," which I think maybe means chugga-chugging a lot and wearing a lot of makeup and croaking about Jesus. But then I finally got the pun. I think. Maybe they asked this because the band is called "The Almost." Get it? They ALMOST rock ALL THE WAY! That's so clever!
Anyway, I listened to their songs, and their rockingness is pretty rocking, if you were to measure by tempo and guitar levels and such. But their songwriting ability
is definitely partway.
On a sidenote, there sure are a lot of comparisons flying around about the ginger-headed singer of The Almost, whose name is Aaron Gillespie, and Dave Grohl. I'm not even going to address that.

A geography lesson for the Spin-sters

Tim Armstrong of Rancid fame is preparing a solo album for release, according to this blurb over at Spin Magazine's web site.

I wonder if he'll safety pin a Crass patch to his tux when he goes to the Grammys. Anyway.

"SoCal punk legend Tim Armstrong, branded for his work with Rancid, Operation Ivy, and the Transplants, among others, will release his solo debut album, A Poet's Life, May 21 on his label Hellcat, NME.com reports.

Tim Armstrong is from Berkeley, Calif. Which, as this handy map will show you, absolves the jackass Spin writing staff of any potential idiocy I referred to when I bitched about their Henry Rollins coverage by being totally right smack dab in the middle of "SoCal" (that abrevation is soooo kewl!). Punk rock!

It's not a play and there's no music and it's not his band to get back together.

I think Henry Rollins seriously needs to shut the fuck up. I do.
A recent post on Spin Magazine's web site is devoted to "a performance" by Rollins, Janeane Garofolo and Marc Maron called "It's Not a Play and There's No Music."
Which I guess means it's a glorified stand-up routine.

"We kept the show out of the comedy club world so none of us would have the obligation to be funny -- although, I think that will occur anyway."

Henry! You've done this before! Remember, it was called a "spoken word" performance? Spoken word. I wish they would have been "thought word" performances so dumbasses all over the country could have paid $20 apiece to see Rollins' hulking, stupid ass stand on stage and think.

Anyway. That's not what this is about. Whoever wrote the article about the "punk icon" (seriously) added this sentence at the end:

Talk: Will Rollins ever reunite Black Flag?

Snob Parade thrashes about madly, knocking things over and farting curse words

Ahem. Excuse me.

DUMBASS SPIN WRITERS!

That's like asking if Pete Rose is ever going to get the Reds back together. Well maybe not quite. But Rollins - who was Black Flag's like third or fourth singer - himself said more than once, in rare instances of not being a bloated and self-satisfied idiot, that Black Flag was Greg Ginn's band to do what he wanted with.
It also ignores the 2003 reunion shows Black Flag played. With Dez Cadena on vocals.